A friend forwarded this humorous mini-rant that sounds like something my friends from Challis Idaho (or other parts of the American West, and in the South where I was raised) would offer. Good for a chuckle on a beautiful late Spring afternoon.
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1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain’t crooked.
3. Let’s get this straight: it’s called a ‘gravel road.’ I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you’re gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That’s why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don’t like it? Take I-84, go east or west. You’ll find I-5 or I-15, go north or south. Just pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We’re impressed. We have $250,000 Combines we drive only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It’s called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin’ in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the corner bait shop.

9. The ‘Opener’ refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That’s applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there’s no ‘vegetarian special’ on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah … We don’t care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat… IT AIN’T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring ‘Coke’ into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring ‘Mary Jane’ into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck & have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, Yankees, Mets, Lakers & the Knicks. They’re a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don’t hit the water hazards – it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain’t music, anyway. We don’t want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
May 26th
Skyscrapers & Stocks
Author: Kenn Lamson
Comments: 0
Gunter Loffler, of the Department of Mathematics and Economics in the University of Ulm (Not “ummm”, Ulm, in Germany. I didn’t know where it was either.) published a recent paper postulating a connection between the construction of world’s tallest skyscrapers and financial market returns. His thesis is, essentially, that periods of time when humans have the hubris (and commercial real estate funding) to build massive skyscrapers are the same periods when stock prices become overvalued.
Looks like he’s actually on to something. From the abstract:
This papers shows that construction starts of record-breaking skyscrapers predict subsequent US stock returns. In the three to five years after the construction of a record-breaking new skyscraper began, per annum stock market returns are around 10 percentage points lower than in other years. The predictive ability is significant and relatively stable.
In fact, the predictive power of his “skyscraper index” (my phrase, not his) actually beats more commonly used metrics. Again, from the abstract:
It exceeds that of alternatives such as the prevailing historical mean, predictions based on dividend ratios, and recently suggested combination forecasts. The findings are robust against a wide range of specifications. Further analyses show that tower building also predicts international stock market returns.
If I’d have just known that it was as simple as selling stocks when the construction for new world’s tallest skyscrapers was begun…
The paper’s abstract is here, and the full paper is here: SSRN-id1787517
hat tip: CXO Advisory